Showdown in Swampland (Ryan)

So I come home from class today to this message on my computer: "Delaney, you bimbo fuck. I'm racing Tidewater, better put your balls on ice."

That's right...Roadie Fag has challenged me to a mountainbike race on my home turf. Needless to say, this will not go unanswered. I plan on racing the enduro event (ride 6 hours, how many laps can you get?), and hopefully Andy will man up and go head to head with me... If he does, I promise you, loyal reader, that I will totally go Swamp Thing on his ass and show him what happens to those who dare plumb the sandy depths of Tidewater, VA. And if he races Beginner or something, well, I guess I win be default.

Now that that's out of the way, I guess I should let you all in on what the Mountie Scum has been up to since the beginning of the month. First off, a mini-report on the 100 miler. Predictably, Kyle, Blake and I did not get to sleep at a reasonable hour, deciding that staying up all night and making loud and obscene conversation to keep our competition awake as well was a better strategy. Chris Scott, race director par excellence paraded around with a gong and a megaphone...just what you want to hear at 5am. I had a knot in my stomach the size of Andy's ego, but I dismissed it as a case of nerves (I was later to find out it was not nerves, but some sever gastronomical distress...I christened several of the mountain summits on the race course that day). I lined up with Das Kurter, R.Fawley, and Kirby, three local boys and staunch riding buddies, as well as roadie fag (note the lower case) Grant "Bail Out" Patterson, and crippled sensation C.C. The start was pretty fast, burning up the fireroad to Narrowback, Das Kurter and I quickly decided not to go balls out, but instead ride in the day together and enjoy what ultimately became a 13.5 hour picnic. The hundreds-strong peloton bottlenecked on the first singletrack of the day, Narrowback ridge, and Das Kurter and I ended up walking a fair bit of this normally flowy trail. We popped out onto the forest service road and boogied down to Aid Station 1, where we reunited with Kirby and Fawley. Kirby cracked on the next major climb, leaving the trimuvirate of yours truly, Das Kurter, and Fawley to question our sanity and soldier on. The peloton had been warned about a nest of angry bees on the course, and true to form, I was stung on the first downhill (and one of my personal favs) Wolf Ridge. Not only that, but my grip slipped off going over a drop-off, and I nearly lost control...fortunately, it was pretty much the only close call of the day, unfortunately, it sorta ruined one of my favorite trails in the race. We bounced from group to group, eventually riding for a while with some masters guys from Ohio. We passed the time on the 18 mile Death Climb talking the shittiest trash and watching each other for the Big Move of the Day. TBMOTD came when the three of us accelerated out of the mid climb-aid station, holding off the Ohio boys till the end. At the top of the final climb, I started to smell the barbecue and hear the conversation of the post-race party, and kicked it into overdrive, stopping only once to adjust my light. The interpid tripod rolled into the Stokesville campground and into the middle of a field party in full-swing. Crossing the line was probably the second best moment of my life, the first being hitting the kegs of Old Dominion lager strategically placed just across it! All in all, it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but totally worth it, and not just for the free beer. You can bet I'll be back next year.

Post 100, I laid low for a while, emerging onto the race circuit again at the Terror of Teaberry in the Michaux State Forest. This race has become kind of a tradition, as its on Kyles birthday...to celebrate we stay up way too late saturday night, wake up way too early sunday and drive up to michaux to have our asses tooled on by gnarly rocks and the mighty Cupcakes. So. Kyle, Mark, Aubrey, freshman Chris, and I rolled out of Fairfax Co., VA Sunday morning to make the start. It rained pretty steadily all day, making the notorius Michaux rocks slicker than ice (eventually leading to a minor sprained hand, but don't worry, I'll live). Aubrey took 2nd in the Sport class, where I took 8th. Mark got lost and rode most of the expert loop as well as the sport loop, coming in dfl, a position taken by Kyle in the moster class. Freshman Chris continued his streak of poor race luck and broke his chain, and had to walk out. Traditional post-race beer and hanging out with the Cupcakes ensued, which made the ride home a blast. Poor Chris had to sit in the middle between Kyle and I as we shouted obscenities in redneck accents, I hope we didn't scare him off. A good time was had by all, plus Aubrey and I purchased Constantine (a soon to be classic) on dvd for the apartment...totally sweet weekend.

What's next? the dreaded LSAT, some midterms, and my impending domination of the Va Tech collegiate mountainbike race, and then getting my game face on for the showdown in swampland.