First Loser (Andy)

Alot of gnarly shit has gone down since the last time my pros graced this divine blog. Firstly, the road racing season is over. I don't want to get into details but lets just say I have never felt so good at a weekend of races this entire season. I tapered hard going into them and was ready to break some legs. However, true to form, my tactical sense is that of a small child suffering from mild retardation and I managed to finish 31/70 during the RR (hit the final turn leading into the last 200m in 3rd position, if this tells you anything about my sprint...3rd to 31st......in 200 meters) Sundays race didn't go so hot and as I was feeling good I attacked the last lap of the crit, was caught going into the final turn, and proceeded to be literally run over by the sprinting field, eating shit at 40mph and am still nursing the worst road rash of the season. Regardless, Ive set a goal to be Cat 2 before the end of March 2007 so I can race Tour of Shenandoah. Jeremiah Bishop has already guaranteed me a position on his Trek/VW composite team granted I can quit fuckin suckin and get the upgrade. Training has been going well tho, Ive discovered some things that Ive been neglecting all summer which could have actually improved my results....first and formost, train like the coach says to train, not how you think you should train. In doing this you train the intensity up to par, and recover up to par....and everyone knows, training makes you slower, recovery is what makes you faster. In retrospect, im a fuckin moron but growing pains are natural as well as DeLaney's penis shrinkage after I make him explode at this Tidewater challenge bulljive.

Speaking of Mt biking. Jeremiah talked me into going down to race the Poor Mountain uphill TT this Sunday. Its a Mt bike uphill time trial which runs on gravel fireroad and some double-track. The course goes to the top of Poor Mountain, ascending 3200 vertical feet in just under 6 miles. Needless to say, Ive never loved the granny gear so much. Anywho as the race started up this false flat leading up to the first major switchback I see JB flying off the front with a string of Mt bikes desperately holding his wheel. They exploded as soon as the road turned up and JB took off solo. I on the other hand sat in, letting these cyclist wannabes bury themselves before the climb. Without trying I began to move up the field as folks exploded off the back. Hitting the first swithback and serious elevation change I was in 3rd....over the next 200 meters I took second, and held onto second to the top. Jeremiah took first with a time of 38:15. I took second at 46:00 and third place as 3-4 minutes behind me. Eight minutes....say that in your head...think about it......8 minutes....Jeremiah coulda made pasta, taken a dump, eaten the pasta, bought icecream, eaten the icecream, then remember he had to get to the bank before 5 and still have time to see me finish. 8 minutes essentially means you got beat, and beat hard. 30 seconds is an asswhooping, 8 minutes is a fuckin intergalactic beatdown. Regardless, $150 bucks richer im pretty glad I tried this race out and got to see how fuckin badass it is to be a pro for a day (cause im lame). On the drive back home Jeremiah calculated that had I been on his bike instead of my manbeast 29er my time would've been approx. 3 minutes faster. Regardless, my ass was handed to me, cant expect any more when racing a pro.

So that's been life since the last blog......not much has changed, train, eat, work, eat, sleep, train, etc. BUT. Pirate alleycat was a blast, I strapped a 3x6 ft pirate flag to my fixie and road around town waving an 18th century pistol in the air...........totally sober.
Also, every Thursday will officially be "Sparkx Dynamo" at his locale...bring your bike, helmet, lights, and enough sparks to get you through 3-4 hours at a fairly inebriated level.

xoxo Andy

PS. A betting circle has been started...literally Roadiefag vs. Mountiescum....According to popular sources I should win the Tidewater challange based on the fact that Delaney is a fatass and I train numerous hours a day and without a doubt am more fit than him. However, DeLaney should win given the fact that the race is on his home turf, on a course that he rides all the time, AND he is a mountain biker. Honestly, I cant put the $ on myself or my sea cow counterpart. All bets will be paid in the form of booze and sexual favors.