"Update the fuckin blog you dirty dirty bitch" (Andy)

Its been a long long time since the authors of this great blog graced its pages. Many have questioned whether our lives came to a screeching halt or if we've quit the sport of cycling altogether. Simply, this is untrue. Much is going on within the epic lives of the roadie fag and mountie scum.
After the road season ends inevitably comes a brief period of rest, relaxation, and generally dicking around whilst remaining fit. For me, this meant taking up the sport of the scum. Oddly, I truly enjoyed myself on the mountain bike, enough so to purchase one and hone my skills with long hours on the Nutt and out in the Appalachians. My steed of choice has received the proper name "Bearfucker" and looks like this save for the rigid fork, which was promptly replaced with the Reba Race 29. For those who care about this sort of thing , the parts package is full XT, Thompson seatpost, Diablo wheels, and some other salsa shit
But thats just jibjab, the important thing is the racing, which I dabbled in slightly undertaking my first race at the Rowdy Dawg outside Blacksburg VA. The race went as expected, my fitness was up to par or more so than the members of the expert class, my technical skills, however, were as Ryan predicted some time ago; "with the grace of a Greyhound bus..." Nothing bearfucker couldnt handle. When the going got rough and the rocks got thick I simply closed my eyes and let the wheels of mass destruction do their thing. A few times the 29 inch rings saved my ass, and a few times they fucked me like a Jersey girl at a frat house. I somehow secured 6th place and a $5 prize in expert class and was ready for more. The next step was the notorious Panorama Paranormal in Fooftown. A 6 hour epic on some tight twisty wet and wild singletrack. I fared well and managed 6 laps in 6 hours. Using my now perfectly honed endurance nutrition routine I began the race easy, taking great care of my nutrition and keeping the HR within a moderate, yet steady range as bouts of insults and demotivation rang out from mountie scum, bailin Grant, and C Clark. Woe unto them when I kicked in on lap four, passing the duo at an alarming speed and gaining an hour on their time. Delaney, he suffered a less exotic fate then being soundly beaten by the Greyhound: somewhere around the end of lap 1 I heard the estranged noise of front and rear suspensions bottoming out complimented by a slew of swearing the gods and squeaky brakes. From infront of me emerges Delaney, his front fork spewing as much oil as he does trash talk, yet to no avail. The Scum pulled out of the race at the end of the lap.
There was 1 race left to go and I personally am ashamed to discuss it. The Tidewater challenge, which was poised to be the epic roadie mountie showdown was a no go. In laymens terms, I pulled a grant, a big, fat, sloppy, grant. I didnt know why then, I still dont. I wasnt concerned with how the battle with Delaney would go, in all honesty I dont know what happened, but I didnt go, and shouldve.
Nonetheless, this is all in the past. The offseason is over, Ive begun and new, improved, and dare I say "professional" training program. 20-25 hours a week. Big rides are the order of 50% of the week with MSE work to build strength. The date of the Tour of Shenandoah has been set for April 24-29. The goal is set, the training is set. Rock and roll

My spies tell me that mountie scum is a bit under the weather. Photos reveal that Delaney is on his bike, yet has lost his season form...Sources say that he is training with a new form of powermeter which should raise his body fat percentage to over 40% for optimum downhilling ability. The newly released device is known to many as the Internal Combustion Engine. From what I understand his Critical Power numbers are down whilst his blood alcohol level has reached new and professional levels. He plans on attending training camp in the burg this January, and prepping for the Road season and, inevitably, the Tour de Burg this July.
Until then, you'll be hearing from us, happy miles!