Harris-Roubaix

So an epic training block just came to a close yesterday. The block started with a 80 mile ride over 7 mountain ranges with 11,000 ft of climbing....it then continued with some scouting of acclaimed gravel roads, culminating in the race of races; the 2007 Harris-Roubaix. For those who are ignorant to the ways of classic American races, the Roubaix ranks up there with the Tour of Georgia, Tour of California, and the US Pro Championship in Philly. The Roubaix this year was a 16.1 mile loop consisting of 9-10 punchy climbs, 2,000 ft of climbing per lap (3 laps), sketchy deep gravel turns and chicanes, long wide open gravel descents where racers can reach speeds up to 40mph reducing the margin of error to near zero. The Roubaix this year saw the return of past heroes Jeremiah Bishop and Nick Waite. The race was also graced with names such as Justin Spinelli, and Dan Bowman who race professionally for Kelly Benefit Strategies/Medifast. Other personalities such as FaggyBro Kyle Lawrence, Chris "don't let friends ride Fuji" Clark, and Julie "ill eat your children" Gliesing. As well, the presence of pro legend Chris Scott sent shudders of fear through the peloton. What most weren't anticipating was the performance of Dark Horse rookie pro, Andy McKeegan, who by the end of the day would be laying on the hurt like butter. Those scared shitless out of racing the Roubaix were the MoutieScum himself, eating extraordinaire Blake 'Shrek" Walker, and the pro himself: Bailin Grant Patterson.

The cold April morning saw a race attendance in the 40s. The race went off and immediately selections were made, the lead group after the first major set of climbs were Andy McKeegan, Jeremiah Bishop, Nick Waite, Justin Spinelli, Dan Bowman, Chris Scott, Kyle Lawrence, and a foof whose name is unknown. The KBS/Medifast crew began to turn the screws to urge attacks from Bishop and stretch out the group. About half way through the lap McKeegan lost his traction into a gravel turn and had to correct into a driveway, costing him minutes to get back on course. Rear group stragglers Clark and Lawrence zipped by heckling McKeegan's lack of bike handling ability. Little did they know McKeegan got himself out of the rut and began to bridge back to the group. At the bottom of the first major gravel decent Clark of the Hungarian team YoBro presented by Gamecube was seen laying all over the road like a dead ox. Media coverage has provided us documentation of the incident

McKeegan then caught and dropped Lawrence and the foof who were a good mile behind the pro element. The bridge was successful and the group was whittled down to 6 riders. On lap 2 McKeegan again tripped up his shit and was sliding around a turn, at that moment a wave of attacks emerged from the KBS/Medifast team blowing the group apart and leaving only Waite, Spinelli, Bowman, and Bishop in its wake. Forward officials tell us Bishop attacked the group into a gnarly gravel turn and put a minute on the KBS boys. The KBS team flatted during the chase and were surprised to see the McKeegan Express with Chris Scott in tow come flying by shortly after. KBS promptly shot their lead rider, Waite, to snag the back end of group and the chasing of Bishop ensued. By the end of lap 2 Bishop was ahead by minutes with McKeegan and Waite working together to drop some minutes. At the beginning of lap 3 the ant used his superior climbing skills to put McKeegan in the red and make the bridge solo. Waite put 2-3 minutes on McKeegan before he was forced to stop and repair flat damage 4 miles from the finish at which point McKeegan flew past at a blistering place, securing himself a podium finish if he could hold off Chris Scott which he did by about 8 minutes. The final times for the 2007 Harris Roubaix were
Jeremiah Bishop: 2:21
Andy McKeegan +10:00
Chris Scott + 18:00

-have you talked your trash today? ohh the shittiest trash!-