Spring Training

Well it’s certainly been a while, but seeing as how bike racin has started up again, I figure its about time to give y’all an update. The second annual Tidewater Winter Classic went off without a hitch, although we’re still waiting for the money to roll in. Predictably, Hopkins and their cadre of exceptional toolish roadie fags complained incessantly, in person and on their website…one can only hope that karma insures their whole team is hit by a bus on a training ride.

Now that Andy has publicized the secrets of his early season training, I feel like I shouldn’t leave people wondering how the Mountie Scum is preparing for race season…so I’ve compiled a sample week out of the resistance training phase of my 2007 training plan, complete with illustrations:

Monday
10am: Sleep through class to shake off the mug night hangover
2:30pm: Attempt race-pace mountain bike ride, crash.













Tuesday
1pm: Intervals with this guy:












4pm-8pm: Work at the bike shop; tasks for the day include assembling one beach cruiser, playing with the shop dog, and begging free cheeseburgers off the restaurant next-door.


Wednesday
1pm: 45 minute to an hour easy ride
2pm: Attempt to haze freshmen with Sparks and Cuban cigars, end up hazing myself
8:30pm: Awaken on the couch, covered in cigar burns and orange splotches
9pm: Consume entire large pizza topped with ham.












Thursday
off

Friday
3pm: embark on two hour road ride, seek out all gravel roads in the Williamsburg area
7pm: exchange cycling shoes for drinkin’ boots.











Saturday
9am: Early breakfast















10am: Team photo shoot (for the sponsors)















2pm: “Mountain” bike ride

Sunday
6:45am: Arrive home, remove drinking boots
7am: Get underclassmen to drive me to the race
9am: Race some bikes, make some friends, get dropped.












This is a new plan this year, I think it’ll get my five-second power nearly up to that of the Roadie Fag and hopefully I’ll crack into the top six myself in a race soon!