Dopers Suck! (Andy)

Yes its true, but only if they've actually doped. So goes the story of today....A beautiful 70 degree day in January in Western VA...Much thanks to Northern VA for the beautiful weather...keep driving those SUVs!!! Anyway...the days plan was a big ride with Nick Waite, a friend, training buddy, and professional cyclist. I roll up to Nick's place and am talking to him on the front porch about the weather when a car pulls up and two folks emerge with a dufflebag, briefcase, sporting USADA coats and ID tags, and approached us asking which of the two of us was number 222. Apparently Nick is number 222 and these officials of the US Anti Doping Agency were surprising him with a random out of competition drug test. They nabbed Jeremiah Bishop with a test earlier that morning. Since I was present I had to witness and sign some papers confirming what I saw, etc. So Nick pounded shit tons of tea and coffee to get his bladder revved up while the USADA folks wrote down all the vitamins and nutritional supplements Nick had taken over the past 3 days. Eventually the urine began to flow and into the bottles it went. Now these bottles were not ordinary plastic urine containers. They were heavy gauge glass, almost like what nerds glasses looked like in grade school; so thick you couldn't shoot it apart. The lid had a steel pawl under the cap that would not allow the cap to be turned the opposite direction once its screwed on...a special machine is used to tap the lid and take it off. Then the bottles were put into plastic bags, then put into a small styrofoam box, sealed, and stuffed in the dufflebag. More papers were signed and the peeps got on their way. Then Nick and I used what was left of the day to hammer out a sick ride into WVa and back. All told it was pretty exciting to see the whole anti-doping checkup unfold infront of me. Nonetheless, the folks were both very friendly and an excellent representitives of the organization.
Now...remember kids, drugs are bad, and the govs got an eye on you haha
hugsandkisses
Andy

I'll give you something to half smile about! (Andy)

Half set of balls in yo mouf! Hello citizens. As per the requests, the blog will be updated with a delightful insight into the past few weeks. As many of you may be aware, the holiday season has come and gone, and if you're not on you bike by now, then good luck with the suck come race season. Since the last blog, training has not slowed down for the Jeremiah titled "el gato." Ive been up and up with the big weeks, hardly ever going to work, putting in 17-25 hrs on the bike. I afear that I soon will be fired for this outrageous schedule but thankfully my boss is awesome and understands the training involvement of a burgeoning amateur pro. boooya!

Soon after the last post on RFMS a great upheaval was felt within the confines of 75 S. Court Sq. Do not fret, you have nothing to fear. A great weight has been lifted, literally, from this humble house. Many of you know, some of you have seen, but all of you have heard of the cumbersome, worthless, lard induced blight of a roommate who used to inhabit the nether regions of our apartment. His name will not be mentioned, for it has hereby been banned by the international authorities and humanitarian societies. But since this point in time, life is outstanding for the residents here. The bathrooms and kitchen are clean, outrageous smells of rotting food from 4-6 square meals a day are eliminated, the refrigerator is empty, the stove is spotless, the fruit flies which invested the fuckin rainforest in our "front room" have all but died out, and the rainforest has been promptly removed. Random articles of trash pillaged from dumpsters throughout Harrisonburg are also gone. This my friends is true freedom. I no longer have to cinch my bowels for hours due to continuous occupation of the bathroom. The singing of outrageous and terrible lyrics have fallen silent. And, uncircumcised penises will no longer grace the shoulders or desks of our society. For, my friends, this blight has taken upon itself to resettle in cali-fuckin-fornia. Hoooooooorah!!! December 27 2006 will forever be remembered by our children and our children's children as Independence Day.

Let it be known, that soon the Mountie Scum and his posse of rookie cyclists will be making a pilgrimage to Harrisonburg to pay homage to the departure of the "nameless one," to ride copious amounts of bikes, to drink copious amounts of alcohol, and to get dropped by el gato on training rides. All readers of this sacred blog are invited to intend. But remember, the more bitches, the better! So let it be written, so let it be done.

Now, as Ryan would say, lets go melt some faces!

xoxo- Andy